Another major sign that you're lacking self-love is you have unhealthy coping mechanisms. A fearful-avoidant needs to have details of a story, or they will create them and believe it to be true. An avoidant partner probably knows on some level that their emotional unavailability will affect their relationships. Affordable pricing + discounts available. There are definitely things that you and your partner should do to help address these patterns and foster better coping strategies. They set boundaries that are unrealistic and cause a lack of intimacy with distancing techniques such as the following: 2. 47. If you want some help doing this, check outJames Bauers excellent free video here. But there's also a fourth attachment style that's much more rare and thus hardly talked about: fearful-avoidant attachment. Do they tell you things about themselves that they wouldnt tell anyone else? And there are things you can say and messages you can send to trigger this natural biological instinct. Intimacy is their foe. When initiating conversation, position yourself close but maintain an air of calmness. //, by Numerous psychologists say that avoidant people tend to keep their true selves hidden, and thats why they sometimes end up cheating. I learned about this trick from the hero instinct.