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Of course they have an us against him mentality when he acts like that. . They loved it, I hated it. I reminded him that he likes sex better in the morning and he called me frigid and slept on the couch. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. July 2, 2013, 12:28 pm. Its so longgggggggg! But that means he has to find something that *will* interest her, which means hes got to make some effort as well. Janet got the love and affection of a parent from the old maid who raised her. Of course its going to drive her away from him. LW, you should probably rationally explain to your husband that eye rolling is unacceptable. Make it a game. My teenage kids are miserable & he treats them like they are toddlers. I do also believe that your husband really does need to at least embrace a couple of her interest if he wants her to embrace the things he likes. And I dont think that tv shows a mature, intelligent adult would watch necessarily means they are good shows to watch. Hes putting her down. I dont care that much about baseball, but my dad is a fanatic so I played catch with him in the backyard and had fun because we were spending time together. This could be something as simple as going for a walk together after dinner or taking turns reading bedtime stories. Why is my husband driving my daughter away?. findingtheearth To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. I made him put on 2 more episodes before we stopped because we HAD to go to sleep. He wasnt invested in making mini-hims at all, and I am so grateful for my dad. And my dad is a veritable warehouse of rocknroll trivia when a new song came on, hed often share a fact he knew about the band (Did you know Rush is a three-person band, and that the bassist is the lead singer?), or tell us about a concert he went to in his youth (hes been on stage with Ozzy, yall, close enough to see the O-Z-Z-Y tattooed across his knuckles), or quiz me and my brother to see if we knew who the band was or what the song was. I used to whine like crazy when my dad tried to teach me about cars or home improvement, or talk about politics. I wanted to make a point about the use of the word uninformed. I mean freak out and force your kid to read something if they cant, not if you dont like that they choose to read Harry Potter in their free time. Your husband and your daughter are both geeks at heart, which is encouraging. Shes all the better for it. oh, wait - his father wanted nothing to do with him for years. Either the Dads behavior is bad enough that she needs to draw a line and tell him to stop with the eye-rolling and turning off the TV for no good reason; or it isnt and she needs to prioritize her marriage and get back to being team parent. Yikes, I shouldve known better than to comment on a cult show Sorry! If it doesnt come from both sides, its hard to want to do something with the other person, if the other person doesnt do anything to see your side of it. The opposite gender relationship in a family (IMO) kinda shapes future relationships your daughter may have with boyfriends. This is NO accident. EL ESPIRITU DETRAS DE LA PUERTA - Facebook It will also probably be more effective if you can get your children to stand alongside you, at least during the initial intervention and I realise that will be hard. Too little time to post! We were forced to have shockingly good table manners and we shook hands with adults from the age of three. Dont talk negatively about her father. It can be even tougher to try to figure out what to do about it. New readers, welcome to Dear Wendy, a relationship advice blog. My plan is to lock mine in the basement and bribe her into going to a local college. He is also very critical of both of us, but particularly of her lack of competitiveness (she hates team sports, and takes archery and piano but only for fun), lack of initiative, and being uninformed,, Yep. One of my MILs (I am so lucky; I get three, FML) has a serious issue with me I mean epic butt hurt level, because I CANNOT do board games or card games. This part is simple: You must never let them in a vehicle with this man driving. Im peace-ing out. (There was plenty of that too, but I felt like dismissing my nerdy interests hit the hardest because I felt like science-fiction, fantasy, history, video games and books taught me a lot of personal lessons about life, loss, and persevering. My inner fan girl is all riled up now =). My best friend is in that episode! Rather than the lover-partner-wife-prized companion to be loved and cherished and lavished with attention slot. I recommend that the LW keep a very close eye on this. But it isnt you guys against him. 6napkinburger THIS is the problem, not the fact that a 12-year-old girl likes 12-year-old girl things. Anyway, a person shouldnt be forced to read something they find boring, but I think that its reasonable for the dad to try to encourage that so that she grows up knowing theres stuff outside of her pop culture interests. 15 Mother-In-Law Behaviors That Deserve a Punch in the Face - Scary Mommy About Us . And of course. Its almost like shes commiserating with her daughter as though hes her father also. I would call that well-rounded. When you are in the same space with someone who is watching TV all day or farting often or slurping their coffee or whatever, unless you get away from them you will most likely explode. And the Inner Light is a great episode, I watched it recently on Netflix. If your teenager is starting to pull away, it is important to resist the urge to panic or try to force them to spend more time with you. And, yes, you ARE being greedy, because as much as your daughter may genuinely enjoy your time together pursuing interests you both share, she is missing out on a relationship with her dad and all the things he can teach her through his interests. July 2, 2013, 3:17 pm. I went through an accapella phase and a disney phase and a pop punk phase, a Growing pains phase, and on and on, and he rolled his eyes and helped me set the VCR, but wasnt willing to watch it. "So last night, I did everything exactly the same way, but it was a disaster. For some reason I keep imagining LWs husband as Red Foreman and her daughter as Eric. And LW- anyone who tells you Firefly is not a good show doesnt know what their talking about! I promise, the daughter will remember and cherish the efforts. Be happy that your daughter has a father who wants to be involved in her life. 6napkinburger I watched it when I was a kid. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'therelationshipnotes_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_1',103,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-therelationshipnotes_com-medrectangle-3-0'); My daughter seems to resent my husband, and my husband just doesnt seem to know how to connect with her. He is an adult and should act like one- his daughter will model her behavior off of his and what she is learning now is why bother respecting those with different interests. LW, your daughter sounds awesome. When they are able to see the. I too liked pop culture and shopping and silly tv shows, much like my mom. Self-centered passive-aggressive husband driving me crazy Respect is the bedrock of any family and you need family members to respect each other, the belongings of each other and the interests of each other. So because you think something is a timewaster you get to mock people for their interests at 12. than it is to have fun with them although you should have fun while doing so. This can look like moving to a far away place, convincing you your. doesnt mean that the Dad is 100% correct in ramming his opinions down his daughters throat. Can Someone Else Drive My Car? | American Family Insurance - amfam.com But hes an adult and should show an equal interest in what his daughter likes instead of disparaging her interests and rolling his eyes at her. The LW should do some serious work in building the bond, and working on her marriage, but I would make sure that the dad is putting in just as much effort. I can well grasp your husbands ongoing eye-rolling and snappish annoyance. Parents should be parents and kids should be kids. There are times I dont have any interest in my husbands hobbies, but I know that if I go with him to a Magic: The Gathering tournament this weekend, hell accompany me to see the new Pixar movie when I want to go. There are a few things that you can do to resolve the conflict between your husband and daughter: if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'therelationshipnotes_com-leader-2','ezslot_12',132,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-therelationshipnotes_com-leader-2-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'therelationshipnotes_com-leader-2','ezslot_13',132,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-therelationshipnotes_com-leader-2-0_1');.leader-2-multi-132{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:50px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}Its a question that many people ask themselves, and it does not have a clear answer. Hopefully, when he sees that it's his entire family that is worried, he'll see that change is needed. These 8 tips are from my experience and may point out things you probably don't know are pushing your husband away and destroying your marriage. FUCK BOARD GAMES. (I remember one long drive when i was little where we ran out of all other cds and they suffered through it for a little while and I was happy as a clam, but eventually they couldnt deal with it anymore). Navigating a situation like this can be difficult, but its important to do what you can to resolve the conflict. THIS. Extend invitations on appropriate occasions. I'M GETTING FED UP WITH MY FRIEND'S CRUSH. Make it easier for him to be his best self. And then, the next morning, he was an angel and brought me coffee in bed. And his dad didnt want to hear anything about my husbands interests. I adore them and love them as people, not just my parents. Awesome. He's just as cool and aloof with me these days and I'm not sure how I feel about him anymore. Id hate it if a parent did that to me and Id hate it if my partner did that to me too. Thats probably what her daughter is reacting to, and she probably sees her father as a bully. He may be uncomfortable talking about his feelings or sharing personal stories. If he hadnt put in the time when I was a kid, I doubt wed have that relationship. But for practical advice: board games. Trust that Mark would have PLENTY to say if someone wrote in replacing Buffy with sports. So now our oldest daughter is 16 and . Theyre a great way to get people who dont necessarily share a lot of common interests involved. Her mission is to share practical and realistic parenting advice to help the parenting community becoming stronger. Again, no. He never rolled his eyes at me or made me feel less because of what I liked. Its every parents nightmare: watching their child drift away from them. This is partly why it can be so challenging to get a cognitively impaired individual to stop driving. And not just to me and your husband. Its so easy to kill that spark in a child, well done to the mum for supporting her daughter in doing what she loves! However, its wife that wrote in. Really not sure why I waited so long. Ha! bittergaymark Its not cool that Dad is rolling his eyes at his daughters interests and hobbies. I just have to say, I have NEVER felt comfortable choosing what to watch on tv if Im in the same room as my dad because I know he thinks 95% of what Id want to watch is annoying. She occasionally plays them with her friends but she could care less whether she wins or loses because she doesnt care for them and so she isnt invested in the game.